Never poke Mama Bear with a Stick!

There are few simple rules of nature.  One of them being, when a mama bear is on alert, don't aggravate her by messing with her, or especially with one of her cubs! 

If you read the post previous, you know that mama bear was awakened at the last football game of the season.  All she did was roar in her cave and curse under her breath, but make no mistakes, she was upset.  But we moved on, happy to have a strong, healthy Freshman cub.  Tonight was the football banquet.  The head coach, who incidentally owns a company that sells doors, stood up and talked about the great season they had, with a record of 8-1 and that they had secured the Northern region championship.  He went on to say that while normally, the coaches tend to ignore things shouted from the stands, he heard a lot of chatter in the last few minutes of the last game, as his team continued to try to score even though they were up by 20.  Apparently there were shouts of "come on' Let's win with Class here.", "take a knee and let the clock run out", "Don't run up the score", etc.  Incidentally, that wasn't me.  As previously mentioned, I was cursing under my breath (and to our YM counselor).  But I was glad to hear that it wasn't just me that was aggravated.  The coach went on to say he was just trying to let one player who hadn't scored all year, feel what it was like to make it into the end zone.  (Apparently, it didn't matter that 15+ didn't set foot on the field that night.) 
Anyway, this Stud Coach went on to call each boy up to present him with a certificate, a stat sheet and a t-shirt that said 2009 region champions.  He had the certificates in alphabetical order.  As he called the names, he had the boys come up and then stand along the stage.  So as he went through the names he called out Daniels, then Dexter, .....Then Driscoll, then Felton, and on down the alphabet.  noticeably absent, was Dixon (at least to Tay and I - he kept looking over at me like, "What do I do?")  He went all the way through to Werner.  As this "Class Act" continued on with his arrogant speech, several boys on the stage said, "Coach, you missed Dixon".  Bear in mind that Taylor is the only player-aged kid left sitting in an audience of parents and little brothers.  So he was like, "oh, Dixon, come on up"  You could tell Taylor was completely embarrassed as he walkd up and got his t-shirt.  And his mom was PISSED!!!!!!  I sat there fuming - cheeks bright red thinking, "should I cry or get a good run at this guy and sack him while he is at the podium?"  At least one of the other coaches patted Tay on the back and said "sorry, yours must have gotten lost in the shuffle" 
Now I am not completely unreasonable.  I know that it was unlikely that it was the coaches who printed up the certificates (given that none of them even work at the school).  And I also know that in the overall scope of things, a certificate is insignificant - who cares?  But the impact that it had on a 15 year old, whose confidence waivers from minute to minute is significant.  And quite honestly as the mama bear of said 15 year old, it is upsetting.  I would think that when you are preparing something like that, you would check the certificates up against the roster.  and then double check just to make sure you have one for everyone.  And to pour salt in the wound, the coach acted like he could have cared less.
Not that I am a vengeful person, but in my aggravation, I came up with several plans to right this injustice.  First I thought since this coach owns a door company, perhaps I gather some thugs to go down to the door store.  They take turns knocking on the doors and when this guy answers each door they junk punch him and as he's writhing in pain yelling "why?"  They would say, "You Know Why!"  (Those of you who saw "what happens in Vegas" know what I'm talking about.)
Or as a less violent act, I thought I could present this coach with a little certificate from me to him.  Awards I am considering include "Biggest D-Bag", "A-hole of the Year", or my favorite, the "I just can't get past my glory days of high school football" award.  These certificates would be awarded in an elaborate secret ceremony, including a flaming bag of poo in front of each of the doors at his shop.
Taylor said, "you aren't going to do anything stupid about this are you?"  So, as normal, I am going to huff and puff and walk away.  But I can guarantee you, if looks could kill....