18 things to teach your sons about women

I found this on CNN and thought it might be appropriate given I have sons....I have made my personal "tweeks" where necessary!

18 things to teach your sons about women
"We hope to rid the male sex of all the things that make us rant by raising boys with balanced male and female perspectives. Here are the 18 things we'll teach them."
1. Pick your battles.  Great advice
2. Walk on the outside (closer to the street) of your female companion.  I explained to Trevor that this is called the "Girth Barrier".  The one with the biggest girth can better absorb the blow if a car jumps the curb.  Right now, I am usually the "Girth Barrier".
3. Saying "You're being crazy" is never an appropriate response, unless you want her to go postal on you.  Truer words have never been spoken...add the following to the list of inappropriate responses: "Is it your time of the month?", "I understand...PMS!", "Here's some midol", "Stop Nagging", "it makes you look a little bit big", "You are about the same size as her" (unless you point at the skinniest person of all times), "It's not my favorite outfit", "Rather than eat what you made, can't we just go out for dinner?"
4. Cooking, cleaning, and taking care of kids are things men can actually do as well as women.  "Can I get a WhaWah!!!!!"
5. Keep backup supplies of quality chocolate in the house for her to raid.  Be a good boy scout and be prepared!!!  A couple pounds of chocolate is a great start for newbies and build from there...Don't worry if you can't get all of your food storage, err, I mean, chocolate supply at once.  Just as long as you starting to gather your supply now, it will be fine.
6. Buying tampons and other feminine products shouldn't embarrass you --everyone knows they're not for you.   I would never actually make them do this.  I am very particular about my fem hy products and you know they would just grab whatever.
7. Women like compliments and gifts. "What's that?  You say I've never looked skinnier or more beautiful, and you would like me to have that case of Ice Cold Diet Coke AND that truck load of chocolate?  aawe, you shouldn't have!"
8. Earning less than her shouldn't be emasculating. This is true, right up to the point that you start thinking you can skate by doing the minimum because she can carry the load.  We are fine to bring home the bacon, but you've gotta help!
9. Be on time, even if she usually isn't.  I agree with this.  I dated a guy in high school and he would always be like 15-30 minutes late.  Nothing messes with a teenage girl's delicate self-confidence more than sitting on the couch wondering if she is being stood up.
10. Don't be a pouty puppy when shopping with her.  Never do the pouty puppy at anytime.  It is just annoying in any situation and makes girls think you are a wussy.
11. Find out what her favorite flower is.  I am not a huge flower girl.  I am cheap and figure that if you are going to drop $50 bucks, it might as well be on something I can either eat, wear, or use repeatedly.  My practical side kinda stomps on my romantic side, huh?
12. If you like her, then don't buy her shoes; it's bad luck.  Not sure where this one comes from.  I think Timm has bought me Athletic shoes for most of my birthdays...I try not to read into that - as I easily could interpret that the wrong way!  However, I do know that if he ventured out of the Nike store or Footlocker, his choice in footwear for me would include heels, possibly even spiked heels.  Not that I am against heels, but you have to be discerning about heels as so many can KILL your feet.  So I agree, it might be best to steer away from shoes as a gift.
13. Smiling and nodding aren't the same as listening.  True - although it is better than being ignored totally - Experience speaking there!
14. It's OK to cry in front of her, but keep the blubbering to a minimum.  OK - I totally disagree with this one.  You cry in front of a girl, and you will always be "the guy who cried".  I know from which I speak.  I have a "the guy who cried" in my past and I warned my boys of that long ago.  You can't move on from that.  If you feel it coming on, pretend you have something in your eye, throw up, or run from the room, whatever, but NEVER CRY IN FRONT OF A GIRL!!!!
15. Personality goes a long way.  Totally agree with this one.  You don't have to be the most handsome, although like all mothers, I think my boys are the cutest guys ever.  Personality can be far more attractive (or unattractive) than one's appearance.
16. At some point she'll be more important than your mother.  Untrue - I am an always will be the one who loved you first and the one who loves you most!
17. You will never completely understand women.  But at least try!
18. Oh yeah, and no woman will ever be good enough for my baby!  AMEN!!!