The Things that come out of that mouth....

And No, I am not talking about my cursing problem (although I am aware of it.)

Do you ever say something and then think, "why in the world would I say that?"  I do it ALL the time.  I know I have had my share of these "offenses" at church, but today I am going to discuss my "WTH?" Spout-offs from work.

 

I have a new boss...well she is actually my bosses boss.  She doesn't know me from Adam.  So she told my boss that she would like to have a call with my collegue and I, and our boss, to get to know us a little bit better and find out what we are doing.  Those calls are never enticing..."What does she really want?  Is she looking for people she can do without?  Does she not think we are qualified?"  The questions circle rampantly in ones head.

So it starts out, "please tell me a little about yourself and your background"  Now some people want to know about you not only at work, but outside of work too.  Not knowing this woman, we elected to keep it work related.

So I started off, "I joined the bank in January 1998, I am coming up on my 12th year here.  I started in commercial cards doing proposals and marketing and after a couple of years I moved into implementing new commercial card programs....blah blah blah....look at me and my accomplishments....blah blah blah...."  And then I summed up with, "So, that's pretty much me."  To which my boss, who I have worked with for 12 years and am friends with instant messages me, "nice touch with the "So that's pretty much me."  I said, sorry, that is my inner "Yokel" coming out.

But sadly, that isn't even close to the worst embarrassing comment I've made.  A week or so ago, I was on a conference call discussing a client.  I was trying to get across the point that they needed their current process to be undisturbed so they could go on without interuptions.  So I went through this schpeal about what we needed to do, as they just want to "keep on...."(long pause as I had a brain hiccup and couldn't think of the words I wanted to use - and then elected to say) "....keeping on!"  Why in the world would I say that???  I momentarily became the Joe Dirt of the banking industry. So embarrassing!

Alas, that still isn't my Golden Globe winning "Gaffah".  That award was earned a few years back.  I was on site at an oil company in Texas representing implementations on a sales call.  The sales person was a "well endowed" woman who used her assets resourcefully to help with sales.  However, on this day, as we sat in front of 3 or 4 staunch, kinda ornery middle aged oil executives, that wasn't working for her.  They didn't seem interested at all during her presentation...so she threw it to me to discuss implementation.  The conversation surrounded how we would get their existing data from their current system.  So I started out discussing how They could take a file extract from their current system and dump it into Excel and we would reformat that to load into our system.  As I went on, they were equally as dissinterested.  You could read on their faces, they were less and less enthralled with the conversation.  Which made me nervous.  So in wrapping it up I said, "So we can just take a dump."  And then I stopped.  and about 2 seconds after I stopped, I felt my eyes get big, and it was all I could do not to break out in giggles.  I seriously worked hard to stiffle grins and snickers.  Especially as these men sat stone-faced across the table.  No reaction from anyone.  As I drove to the airport, recounting the conversation to myself, I laughed out loud.  On the flight home, I would find myself channelling my inner Beavis & Butthead, shaking my head & giggling, "you said take a dump".  

Kind of amazing that I still have a job, isn't it?